The 94 Most Badass Soldiers Who Ever Lived

Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown?

Plant and Flower Puns Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

What did the artist say to his girlfriend? I really love you with all my art! What book do women like the most?

Pollock says this language, dating back to seventh century B.C.E., was loaded with puns. One of the words in Sanskrit, “Pundit,” is a person who unpacks ambiguity. This is thought to potentially be the root for the word “pun.”.

I need you like sneakers need laces. Do you have a jersey? Because I need your name and number. Are you a deck of cards? Is your dad an artist? If I follow you home, will you keep me? The smile you gave me. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you everyone else disappears. Many people have mixed feelings about puns, why not give it a shot? Are you a beaver?

BEST. SHORT JOKES. EVER.

I also had a LOT of you climbing onto your roofs just to sing my accolades. That to me is a good day of blogging. She carried her little joke books around and loved to make people laugh.

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men. May. Breast Implants. By SteveP. in Relationship Jokes. Tags: Wife Jokes + The following conversation took place between a husband and wife at the dinner table.

The best jokes about women Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife? Did your mother like her? She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much. Is there a problem, Officer? Ma’am, you were speeding. Can I see your license please? I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. I can’t do that.

I stole this car.

Fun for Chemists

In , 11 Australian commandos , all white, disguised themselves as Malay fishermen by dyeing their skin brown and boarding a fishing boat. They sailed through 2, miles of Japanese-controlled ocean from Australia to Singapore. At one point they even traveled right alongside a Japanese warship without them noticing anything strange which was good, because none of the commandos could speak Malay. They then took canoes right into Singapore Harbor, where they blew up seven Japanese ships before escaping.

So racism is OK as long as you have plenty of bombs and canoes.

According to John Pollock, author of the book “The Pun Also Rises” and winner of the O. Henry Pun-Off World Championship in , the root of the word “pun” itself come from a language rich in puns — Sanskrit. Pollock says this language, dating back to seventh century B.C.E., was loaded with puns.

It has happened without me even realizing it. And that, my friends, has brought me to this post where I count the ways that I love that machine for all the magic it can do in the kitchen. My options at the food processor obsessed crossroads in my blogging lyfe: I can try to use the food processor less in recipes, knowing that not everyone has one or enjoys using it as much as I do.

I can try to bring you on board the crazy train with me. There are so many cool things that food processors can do with food!

12 Magical Ways To Use A Food Processor

A great username is a differentiator — a unique brand name — something that completely sets you apart from every other person on a dating site. And when your ideal partner is scrolling through hundreds of names — Sally , JenNYC1, LawyerGal — a great username can be the very reason that someone contacts you. Most people take one of two wrong tacks when coming up with an online dating username:

Jun 13,  · Dive into our collection of science jokes (above), created with a little help from Science Cat and sites like this one highlighting chemistry jokes, this one specializing in biology jokes and this.

The following 45 tennis puns should win you over game — set — match. And if not, you can always read our Easter puns. Best Tennis Puns 1. The man with four hands is a great tennis player because of his four-hand. Players at the local tennis club were unable to surf the web because there were problems with the server. My neighbor hates tennis because he says it makes too much racquet.

The 94 Most Badass Soldiers Who Ever Lived

What do you call a deer with no eyes? The past, present and future walk into a bar. A man laughing his head off. What did the grape say when he was pinched?

Rock your dating puns are you in relations services and there’s no doubt this dude. By zoe mcknightspecial to spend time to overuse them with some short dating mylol is to find a hotdog. This adorable baby bear and the best date with someone who is a pun.

No ur a poo haha. But John came fifth, and won a toaster. Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the entire place. Here is a video with 25 dumb ones from the guys at “List25” Our joke categories you can enjoy on this site Girlfriend jokes: We all know how a relationship can go. These girlfriend jokes are funny because they take many thing from true relationship and gives them a funny twist.

They are much more funny if you had or have a girlfriend or wife, then you know what the punchline means. Husband and wife jokes: Like those above, you have to have a wife or husband too really understand it fully. These makes fun of the marriage between a woman and man. The funny thing about many of these here is that they are true. Well dont be afraid to get married, a marriage is much more fun than a simple joke.

Dolphin Puns

A solid joke can help you get your conversation off on the right foot — or at least up your odds of getting a response. Making a personalized joke is funny. Tickld has an example that only works on someone named Kassandra: An original, person-specific joke makes you stand out among vague come-ons. GIFs are funny and flirtatious.

It’s the end of the week, so laugh a little. These dog puns are meant to make you smile. From hilarious to downright corny, these one-liners will entertain you.

To thank the pros who crunch the numbers so we don’t have to, we polled accountants and auditors and scoured the web to round up 25 jokes that only accountants will love. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts. What does CPA stand for? Do you know where your auditor is? Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.

The Canonical List of Punny Book Titles

But the manicured lawns and neatly trimmed bushes are hiding a multitude of skin. Splashing in the swimming pool, mowing the lawn, even enjoying a pint in the local, its inhabitants are always stripped for action. Next month it opens its doors for the first time for a no-shorts-and-all TV documentary for More4. The nudists next door will be exposing to the world what their neighbours, postmen and supermarket delivery drivers get to see every day of the week.

Mark and Tina Image: They never seem perturbed.

weather Puns 5 Puns about weather! Tongue Twisters Knock Knock Jokes Fun Facts Funny Sayings Dad Jokes Blonde Jokes Cheesy Pick Up Lines Funny Riddles Funny Limericks Funny Insults Funny Haikus cat fish cheese dog nature music tree animals food cute stupid clever time simple language people crime entertainment health science movies weather.

Usernames Your username in an online dating profile matters more than you might realize. I know, I know; none of the sites make it clear enough. Dating sites are a work in progress. Your username, coupled with your profile picture, is the MOST visible thing in search results. What makes for a BAD username? Trying too hard to perfectly sum yourself up is a common pitfall.

Funny Dating Site Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2018

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. The lawyer asks the first question. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Reddit gives you the best of the internet in one place. Get a constantly updating feed of breaking news, fun stories, pics, memes, and videos just for you. Passionate about something niche? Reddit has thousands of vibrant communities with people that share your interests. Alternatively, find out what’s trending across all of Reddit on r/ibers: K.

Lame, awkward, but lovable dads across the country have taken to puns as a valid form of comedy. I have seen many examples of empowered and confident women making puns as well as puns being used to promote feminist messages. Women and men alike took to the streets of Washington D. Puns during this march became a valid way to showcase quick and clever messages about the disdain of the current political climate.

Here are some examples: These punny messages are much more than dad jokes. These puns are freedom of speech at work. These puns were used to bring about change to a broken system that still puts women below men in many different sectors of life. This is a project about women supporting women. It empowered women across the country and across the globe.

MeUndies Presents: Girls React to Tinder Lines


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